I’m gonna gush about my job for a minute, excuse me.
I just found out that I’m getting my name put on a second report, despite my lack of a bachelors degree. I adore my coworkers, we’re a fam, we support each other so much and crack jokes all day. They give me incredible opportunities and they’re genuinely great, kind, intelligent and even hilarious people. The work I do fulfills me, it gives me joy and pride to document the rich and beautiful histories of the peoples of Hawa‘ii. On numerous interviews that I’ve been on we have been thanked profusely for materializing the stories of the land and it’s relationship with the people, I cannot begin tell you how powerful those mahalos are.
I work in beautiful Waimānalo, just streets away from where my papa took his last breath. I can feel his hā (breath, or more literally, spirit) continue to flow through me as I thrive in his name. I continue to live as he would, on an unending quest for knowledge, justice, and compassion.
Learning and growing daily, stretching out and sharing my love.
I feel strength. I feel beauty. I feel the sunshine. I am blessed.
We climbed to the top and found the spot, with it’s trunk fitting smoothly to the groove of my back & forming a perfect perch for BP to sit.
He lit it up to take us even higher, and I smiled as he passed me the spliff and said,
“I never regret these moments,”
I inhaled the green, combined with the freshest treetop air, into my lungs and exhaled,
“I never apologize for spending time with you… or with her.”
He looked at me, curious, and asked “her?”,
I beamed and directed my eyes to what surrounded us, “her… our grandmother.”
And free from all belongings:
Nowhere I belong,
I am time,
I am freedom.” —Mahmud Kianush, Traveller In Soul
fun fact: I can drive scarily well with my foot….
Those who live far away from the equator (i.e. - big cities like NYC) run solely on the clock, on numbers and deadlines. They are future oriented.
Those who live closer to the equator (i.e. - islands like the Hawaiian islands) run on where the sun is in the sky, on sunrises, sunsets, on the changing moon and tides. We are present oriented.
It’s been realer than real. Even though you’re a concrete jungle teeming with way too many fuckin people, I had way more than a few moments that made me think that I may want to call you home one day (…6 months max though haha). The food, the drinks, the blunts, the holiday gatherings, the fireside nights, the laughs, the fam, the friends, the train/subway times, the firsts, the walking, and even the weather during my stay was absolutely beautiful. Mahalos to everyone who showed me a good time or who shared the space. I leave this city with a new set of eyes. I’ll be back for you NYC, hopefully sooner than later.
This one time I was singing “Baby it’s Cold Outside” in the shower and my brother was sitting outside the bathroom singing the male vocals. I didn’t hear him until the very end, just like in Elf, and I came out of the shower and freaked the fuck out. We sat there, me in my towel, and we laughed for a good 10 minutes straight.
This random story just further proves that my brother is the most hilarious person I know.
plain & simple, it’s nice to see somethin new
golden rippling water. driving through manhattan at sunset. reunion. sexy heels. perfect songs at perfect moments. snowy mountains. above the clouds. window seat the whole way. the comfort of your best friend. freshness. fallen crunchy leaves. scarves. crispy coolness. beautiful bridges from the bay area to the big apple. excited eyes. early nightfall. packed this bowl for two. li-hing snacks. inhale. puff. fire. warmth. gratitude.
flying into SF on my way to anywhere else is always a challenge for me ‘cause I just wanna stay for a while. I’d pop in and surprise my cousins and tutu (grandma), hop over to the berk and see telegraph (it’s been too long), and then go have a a pitcher of punch at Hobson’s choice with my homies on Haight.
On another note , I’m already cold….I haven’t even made it to the east coast yet. Island girl struggles.
I wish I had a bathtub. I could really go for a bath right now.
My future home will have a bathtub that will have built in candle & incense holders and it will resemble a miniature mermaid lagoon with it’s width, it’s varying levels, and with shells inlaid in the floor/walls. ok, the end.
circular orbs — bounce
soft, (yet) firm, warm, grabbable
the heart beats beneath
My sensuality is something that I am proud of. It is a large element of who I am and it is how I’ve always been…. but that does not mean I blatantly exploit myself nor does it take away from the fact that I am intelligent/respectable. Sensuality, in my opinion, contributes to intelligence in ways that many people don’t recognize because they confuse sensuality and sexuality. Sensuality is about senses, it includes the realm of sex, but it does not exclude the importance of sensing one’s surroundings in every way possible. Without a strong feel for all the elements of life, I don’t believe I could function properly, so my sensuality contributes to my survival. I despise the way society often makes me, and other sensual beings, feel the need to separate our sensuality from our daily actions and behaviors….The way I see it, it is intertwined with everything that I do.
When I think of sensuality; I think of a mermaid, I think of confidence, I think of powerful energy, I think of spirituality, I think of dreams (day dreams and night dreams), I think of personal wisdom, I think of head-held-high, I think of finding the beauty in everything, I think of unstoppable ideas, I think of unconventional beauty, I think of teaching through learning and learning through teaching, I think of culture, I think of pride, I think of a smile that can’t be controlled, I think of a song so good it makes you cry.
When I’m looking at sensuality; I’m seeing sunshowers, I’m seeing tropical fruits, I’m seeing night swimming, I’m seeing Frida Kahlo and her art, I’m seeing breasts, I’m seeing flawless flaws, I’m seeing flowers, I’m seeing circles, I’m seeing sunkissed skin, I’m seeing the line of a man’s bicep to his shoulder, I’m seeing deep purples and reds, I’m seeing smoke roll out the lips, I’m seeing ocean.
When I hear sensuality, I hear brazilian music, I hear soulful voices, I hear a moving story, I hear Erykah Badu, I hear Adele, I hear deep laughter, I hear the sound of a plane take off, I hear the breeze, I hear the ocean kissing the shore, I hear soft moans, I hear the birds chirping in the early hours of the morning, I hear the silent glow of the full moon seen at 3 o’clock in the morning.
When I feel sensual; I feel cool water going down my throat or enveloping my form, I feel my bare feet touching the grass, water, dirt, or sand, I feel my hair being brushed behind my ear, I feel my heart beating faster than usual, I feel tears of sorrow/joy (they can be one in the same if you understand them fully), I feel past/present/future, I feel happiness, I feel respected, I feel compassion and passion, I feel the pull of the tides on my moon, I feel the color of NARS orgasm blush, I feel warmth, I feel irie, I feel creative, I feel….I feel like myself.
I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.
hike in the rain,
swim under the full moon
if you search inside yourself
you’ll find everybody else
She kissed as though she, alone, could forge the signature of the sun.
— Saul Williams